So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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