It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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