what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
