Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
