Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Mom said you looked used
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
