Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
In America we eat man semen.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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