i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
