I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
