Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
