Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
