I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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