so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
