I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
