Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
