i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
