32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize