if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she looked like the before picture.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
where are you?
Hypothermia
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
there is puke in my bra ... again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
