My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
