I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize