Yo dont text me then not text me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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