Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
