Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
