but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
