benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
