ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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