Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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