we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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