It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize