Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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