new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
