I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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