How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
