I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
