we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize