doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize