i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
