also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
