if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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