It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
