everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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