Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
