i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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