glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
