You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
they need to just BURY HIM!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize