That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
