so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm like, not good at living.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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