so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
