i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
