Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
