Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
