OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
