I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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