oh god the rape fog is back!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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