hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
