its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
