When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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